Friday, October 1, 2010

Fiction/Diary

Dear Diary,(summer school的那个教写作的老师看来没有混事哦,这个逗号打得正确又标准)
Today I went to the country with my family.
(这个country在这里是什么意思?乡下?还是国家?为什么要重点划线?)
it was so fun.
(忍住心中的呐喊:开头第一个字母要大写!)
I rode rolacosters there, and I asked my mom to bied (作者告诉我:就是买东西的意思)
a chocalate icecream and a strawberry one to.
(唉,这么难的巧克力和草莓都拼得差不离了,怎么最后来了个to呢?)
My mom said, yes. (就是嘛,我never say no to icecream,这句写得很传神)
she bied a cone for me, and a cone for mom.(罢了罢了)
my cone melt, and melted! it was a MESS.(生动形象,极其真实!)
my mom Got SO mad she told me to leave.
(我念着念着肯定就满脸黑线密布了,因为丫丫急忙解释:这是我的dream!你在我的dream里mad了!)
(下次教她写上:本日记纯属虚构,虽然based on real life events :P )
(太好了,没有关于妈妈如何大吼大叫气急败坏的描写,是她的写作功力不够还是我对她的心理创伤还不深?)
but, I got away though.(这个though是从through把r擦干净变来的,好不容易哦!
我倒要听听你怎么got away的?)
And she held my hand draged my hand all the way to my car and all the way home.
(一个暴君妈妈的形象跃然纸上啊!)
一个华丽丽的The End, 然后一个融化的和一个没有融化的冰激凌的对比插图。

1 comment:

  1. Meagain!I never even remembered that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete